Letting life happen - (A Guest Post)

Attempting to write a book has been a tedious journey for me, until I realised that it’s all about the conversation. This is my means of conversing with myself, you and anyone and everyone else, who just want to give me a go. I am not entirely sure if this is the right time to place a moment in the book. But this chapter follows on from 21 wishes, re-socialising and I guess it comes before ‘The 22nd Wish’ it’sentirely down to you, you make the link.

So, this is a conversation I literally had with myself on the way back from Wembley:

What has life been like been like for me?

21 years old and every single day, I become overwhelmed by the way the world moves me. Acceptance has played such a major part in my life, not acceptance from people but from situations and circumstances that were out in front of me. Accepting what is and what is to come.

What has life been like for me?

For me. It has been about the mental strain, the joy of gratitude, the laughter, the tears, the days where time just stood still and the days where it just pasted me by. I personally cannot ever dismiss the falls and grazes to my knees. I adore it because without it I would have been somewhere completely different. I’m thankful for where I am now.

I’ve had my days where I’ve found peace, joy, contentment and I’ve had my days where I’ve felt shame, pain and brokenness. But I’ve lived it and stepped over it all in one day.

I remember when I was much younger, I had always desired to be an adult, to grow old and experience life. Age to my younger self was and still is the purest form of beauty. 

What has life been like for me?

Life for me has been a lot of pain, sorrow and uncertainty and that’s in all honesty. I am where I am. I am where I need to be.

I’ve met so many great people on my journey and I’ve let them all go as they did me, just so we, just so we can all continue to blossom vigorously. Then we move on too, so we can love and connect with someone entirely new with that never-ending love.

I found it incredibly difficult to express my feelings. I’ve felt a lot but to describe or speak about how I feel has never really been the one. I’ve never really been given the opportunity or heard out.

I know nothing about this life and its evident in the way I live my life. Every day I am learning, allowing myself to change.

It’s like a constant battle to prove myself. Every single day someone has some theory or assumption that they think, without letting me defend myself.

 

So, I ask again what has life been like for me?

Life for me has been something out of the ordinary, something I never expected, I never thought not once that I would have suffered mentally and find a way to build myself up. I never thought not once that life would be like this for me. I never expected it at all, not once. I am good with it. I really am.

So again, life for me has been something special. Something that has broken me down completely but has used that same weakness to build something new in me again; into this incredible being that gravitates towards love and clings on so tight because it’s the only thing that keeps me with the truth and the only thing that keeps the days in motion. My power shift. 

What has life been like for me?

Every time I ask myself this question, I feel something completely different, every single time.

I like it. I cherish it. I appreciate it.

 

Life has showed its up and downs, its weaknesses and strengths but it’s been persistent in letting me know that everything will be ok.

I’m just letting life happen.

 

 

Catch Zera & myself chatting on my ‘Get Booked’ Show at Women’s Radio Station daily at 5pm w/c 1st July.

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